You're Not Alone: What 103 Families Want You to Know
A summary of parent research conducted in our community - because your experiences matter
Why This Research Matters
As a behavior analyst and sleep specialist working with families in our community, I kept hearing similar struggles from parents across different families. So I decided to ask directly: What are your biggest challenges? What kind of support do you actually want? How are you currently getting help?
103 parents responded, representing different ages, family structures, and circumstances, but the common themes were striking. Their honesty was both raw and encouraging. If you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you're the only one struggling with parenting challenges. This research says you're absolutely not alone.
The Top Struggles Almost Every Parent is Dealing With
1. Supporting Kids Through Big Emotions (57% of families)
More than half of parents struggle with helping their children manage emotions. This isn't just about toddler tantrums, it spans every age. Emotional regulation means helping kids recognize, understand, and manage their feelings in healthy ways. It's challenging because kids' brains are still developing the ability to control emotions, and as parents, we're often learning these skills ourselves while trying to teach them.
"Learning how to help my toddler manage big emotions and separation anxiety"
"Knowing how to respond to our teenage daughter with a balance of love and consistency while being stern but not breaking her spirit or our relationship"
"How to help your child understand their emotions and how to deal with them"
What this means: If you feel lost when your child is overwhelmed, frustrated, or melting down, you're in the majority. Emotional regulation is hard for kids AND hard for parents to support. The good news is that emotional regulation skills can be learned and practiced by both you and your child.
2. Finding Time for Yourself (54% of families)
More than half of parents are struggling to find any time for self-care. This isn't about being pampered, it's about basic recharging so you can show up for your family. When parents are constantly depleted, it affects everything from patience to decision-making to the energy available for family activities.
"Taking a bath! Every day this gives me a self care routine and sets the boundary for my family that I'm taking care of myself and it should be uninterrupted"
"Being able to have time to myself or do fun things to help recharge"
"Someone to do the housework so I had more energy for her"
"A vacation 🫠"
What this means: You're not selfish for needing time to recharge. You're not weak for feeling depleted. The majority of parents feel exactly the same way. Taking care of yourself isn't a luxury. It's necessary for taking care of your family.
3. Screen Time Battles (53% of families)
The digital age has created challenges no previous generation of parents has faced. We're trying to balance the benefits of technology (learning, connection, entertainment) with concerns about development, safety, and family time. There's no manual for this, and the "rules" keep changing as technology evolves.
"Resources on how to talk to kids about balancing screen time in a way that they would be receptive to"
"Distinct support limiting screen time for son age 15"
"Learning more about technology challenges especially with teenagers (sexting, bullying, etc)"
What this means: You're not behind the times for struggling with how much screen time is too much, or how to keep kids safe online. Even tech-savvy parents are figuring this out as they go. Every family needs to find their own balance based on their values and circumstances.
Other Major Challenges Nearly Half of Parents Face
Work-Life Balance (40% of families)
Two out of five parents are struggling to manage the competing demands of work and family life. This isn't just about time management, it's about the mental load of constantly switching between professional responsibilities and family needs, often feeling like you're not doing either one well.
"To find ways to make everything balance" "
How to balance work, kids one on one time, sports, and time for myself"
Why this is so hard: Modern families often lack the extended family or community support that previous generations relied on. Parents are expected to be available for work demands while also being present for their children's needs, often without adequate support systems or flexible policies.
Daily Routine Management (38% of families)
More than a third of parents struggle with creating and maintaining family routines that actually work. This includes everything from morning and evening routines to managing homework, chores, and family responsibilities. When routines break down, the whole family feels it.
"Getting my kids to agree to begin their bedtime routine"
"Getting kids to be more independent and help with the household activities"
Why this matters: Predictable routines help children feel secure and help families function more smoothly. But creating routines that work for everyone's developmental needs, personalities, and schedules is genuinely challenging, especially when life circumstances change.
Behavioral Guidance (35% of families)
One in three parents is seeking better approaches to discipline and behavior support. This reflects a shift toward wanting positive discipline strategies that teach rather than punish, but many parents weren't raised this way and are learning new approaches while parenting.
"Positive discipline and helping with dysregulation"
"How to respond to tantrums and biting"
"Finding a way to discipline my children that works to where they understand why they are being disciplined while still respecting me, the rules of the home and expectations of them"
The challenge: Many parents want to move away from punitive discipline but need concrete tools for teaching appropriate behavior, setting boundaries, and helping children learn from mistakes in developmentally appropriate ways.
Sleep Issues (Across All Ages)
While only 13% selected this in the main question, sleep concerns appeared constantly in detailed responses across every age group. Sleep challenges affect the whole family's well-being and can make every other parenting challenge harder to manage.
"Help getting my girls to sleep in their own rooms without night waking"
"Getting my 6-year-old to sleep earlier"
"Getting my kids to agree to begin their bedtime routine. The transition from wind down activities to bedtime routine is challenging. Once they're in bed, they fall asleep easily, but getting there is a power struggle"
Why sleep is so important: When children (and parents) aren't getting adequate sleep, emotional regulation becomes much harder, behavior challenges increase, and family stress escalates. Sleep issues often reflect other challenges like anxiety, routine difficulties, or developmental changes.
The takeaway: If your house feels chaotic, your kids won't listen, bedtime is a battle, or you can't find time for everything - you're experiencing what most parents in our community are going through. These challenges are interconnected, and improving one area often helps with others.
How Parents Are Currently Finding Support
Most Parents Turn to Family and Friends First (52%)
This makes complete sense - you want support from people who know and care about your family. These trusted relationships provide emotional support and practical wisdom that can't be replaced by any professional service.
Online Searching is Common (27%)
Many parents search online for information, especially when they need answers quickly or want to research before making decisions. The internet provides 24/7 access to information and can help parents feel more informed and prepared.
Many Parents Trust Their Instincts (12%)
Some parents prefer to figure things out as they go, trusting their knowledge of their own children and family situation. Parent intuition and experience are valuable guides that shouldn't be underestimated.
Professional Support as First Resort is Rare (2%)
Very few parents reach out to professionals as their first step, which likely reflects that most parenting challenges can be handled within families and communities. It may also suggest that when parents do need professional support, there could be barriers to accessing it easily.
The Professional Support Reality
Here's the most encouraging finding: 42.2% of parents said they're open to professional parenting support but haven't used it yet. This means if you're considering getting some outside help, you're definitely not alone—nearly half of parents in our community feel the same way.
Here's what parents told me about professional support:
Parents who HAVEN'T used professional support (79.4%):
53% are open to trying it - if you're considering getting help, you're in great company
23% face cost or accessibility barriers - they'd like help but can't access it
23% prefer to handle things independently - they want to figure it out on their own
Parents who HAVE used professional support (20.6%):
62% found it very helpful
38% said it wasn't the right fit
What this means: Most families haven't tried professional support yet, but the majority of those who haven't are actually open to it. And when families do find the right fit, it tends to work well.
What Parents Actually Want: The Support That Would Help
When I asked what would be most helpful right now, parents shared deeply personal needs that reveal the isolation and overwhelm many families experience:
Connection with Other Parents
"A parenting community"
"Just connecting with other moms, remembering we're not alone in this crazy journey"
"Having a community of parents I could talk to who are going through similar challenges"
"Meeting with other parents of adolescents"
This desire for connection reflects how isolated many modern families feel. Without the extended family networks and close-knit neighborhoods that previous generations relied on, parents often feel like they're navigating challenges alone, even when surrounded by other families.
A More Family-Friendly Community
One parent captured what many feel:
"I think the world we live in right now is too unfriendly towards kids and their parents. I wish we had access to free or affordable childcare, I wish we had more small community play dates, and I wish there was more green space and activities that were free for kids to do. Everything is just too expensive and I often find myself not attending an event because it costs money, or if it is free I know it's going to be overcrowded because we don't have enough of them."
This response captures how many parents feel that broader community systems - from public spaces to local programming - haven't kept pace with families' needs. Parents are asking for communities that actively welcome and support families rather than simply tolerating them.
Quick, Practical Help
When I asked how parents prefer to receive support:
76% want "tips I can use right now" rather than lengthy courses
43% want parent community groups or forums
29% want video demonstrations of techniques
28% want one-on-one consultations for personalized help
This preference reflects busy parents' reality - they need strategies they can try today with their child who's struggling right now, not lengthy courses to complete when they already feel overwhelmed by daily demands.
Affordable Support
Cost came up repeatedly as a barrier to getting help:
"Cost is a big factor in any help. Childcare over the summer that doesn't break the bank, the ability to get kids to activities and pay for them without having to miss work"
"If everything wasn't so expensive to get access to"
"Affordable or free resources"
These concerns highlight how financial stress compounds parenting stress. When families can't afford the support they need, parents carry the full load of challenges that could be shared with professional guidance or community resources.
Age-Specific Insights: What Parents Are Dealing With
Parents of Young Children (Under 5)
Potty training guidance
Managing tantrums and big emotions
Sleep challenges and routines
Balancing needs when you have multiple children
Parents of School-Age Kids (6-12)
Emotional regulation support
Bedtime routine struggles
Balancing activities with family downtime
Building independence with chores and responsibilities
Parents of Teens (13+)
Technology and social media challenges
Maintaining connection while promoting independence
Academic pressure and future planning
Serious safety concerns like cyberbullying and sexting
The universal truth: Every age brings new challenges, but the core needs (emotional support, connection, balance) remain consistent.
What You Can Do Right Now
For Your Family Today:
1. Give yourself credit for caring enough to seek information and support
Right now, you're reading research about parenting because you want to do well by your family. That intention and effort matter more than getting everything "right." Acknowledge that you're already doing important work by seeking to understand and improve.
2. Take one small step toward self-care this week
This doesn't have to be elaborate. It might be drinking your coffee while it's still hot, taking a five-minute walk outside, listening to one song you love, or asking for 10 minutes of quiet time. Small, consistent actions toward recharging yourself add up over time.
3. Try one new emotional regulation strategy with your child
Start with connection before correction. This might look like taking three deep breaths together before talking about what happened, saying "I can see you're really frustrated about this" before jumping to solutions, or offering a hug first and problem-solving second. These approaches help kids feel understood before they need to think clearly.
4. Remember that "good enough" parenting is actually good enough
Research shows that children thrive with "good enough" parenting, not perfection. Your love, attention, and effort to keep learning and growing as a parent are what matter most. Give yourself permission to be human and imperfect.
For Building Community:
1. Start one real conversation with another parent this week
Instead of the usual "How are things?" try something more specific and relatable. At school pickup: "How's the homework situation going?" At the playground: "Please tell me your kid had a meltdown in public recently too." Or simply: "Are you surviving the screen time battles?" These kinds of questions invite honest sharing because they acknowledge that parenting is hard for everyone.
2. Organize something simple that brings families together
This could be a playground meetup, a coffee date where kids can play nearby, a family potluck in someone's backyard, or even a text group for parents to share quick wins and challenges. Low-pressure, regular connection builds community over time.
3. Share a resource when you find something that helps
When you read an article, try a strategy, or find a local service that works for your family, pass it along to other parents. This creates a culture of mutual support and resource sharing.
4. Support other families in small, everyday ways
This might mean holding the door for a parent juggling kids and bags, offering an encouraging smile when someone's child is having a tough moment in public, or simply choosing to shop at businesses that welcome families. Small acts of family solidarity can make a big difference in creating a more supportive community.
If You're Ready for More Support:
1. Consider professional help if you're among the 42% who are open to it
If you've been thinking about getting some outside support, you're not alone. Look for professionals who listen to your concerns, respect your family's unique situation, and offer practical strategies rather than judgment.
2. Look for parent groups in your community or online
Whether it's through your child's school, community center, library, or online platforms, connecting with other parents facing similar challenges can provide both practical tips and emotional support.
3. Ask your child's pediatrician about local family resources
Your pediatrician likely knows about local parenting classes, support groups, early intervention services, and other community resources that could be helpful for your family's specific needs.
4. Connect with your child's school about parent education opportunities
Many schools offer workshops on topics like homework help, social skills, or technology safety. These can be great ways to learn new strategies while connecting with other parents in your school community.
Remember This on Hard Days
When your child has a meltdown in the grocery store, when you haven't showered in three days, when you feel like you're failing at this parenting thing - 103 other families in our community know exactly how you feel.
When you're researching screen time limits at midnight, when you're worried about your child's emotional outbursts, when you're desperate for just an hour to yourself - you're experiencing what the majority of parents in our community are going through.
You're not perfect. You don't need to be. You're not alone. And that matters more than you might realize.
What's Next
This research is just the beginning. Understanding what families actually need is the first step toward building better support systems in our community. I'm using these findings to develop support groups and resources that match what you've told me you need - quick, practical help with peer connection opportunities.
If you're interested in learning about local resources or exploring support options designed around what parents actually want, I'd love to hear from you.
Email: tmarrelli@seabehavioral.com
Website: www.seabehavioral.com
I typically respond to inquiries within 24-48 hours and offer free, brief consultations to discuss how I might be able to help your family.
For professionals working with families: Additional research findings and recommendations are available.
Thank you to the 103 families who shared their honest experiences. Your voices matter, and they're helping shape better support for all families in our community.
